Paintball.

Oh my goodness, I've just seen and heard the latest Rebecca Black single, which you can find here, and I feel slightly nauseous. She's not as terrible as we made her out to be back when 'Friday' came out, but now she's so mainstream pop I feel almost sick.

I wonder if she's writing her own songs now. If yes, good for her, she's got the lyric-writing skills of a person her age, and if not, the sad people who write her songs for her have the lyric-writing skills and depth of a fourteen year-old.

How awful.

I've also just dumped all my notes from this sem and those I've somehow kept from last sem, and now ready to start with a clean slate next year (although I'm not ready to fly off at all). Packing is terrible business. I'm flying off on Saturday yet I've hardly packed. What am I doing? I'm putting off this tedious job, that's what.

Whoa hopefully I can get all this finished by tomorrow night so I can check out of my room and stuff. Oh no.

Was supposed to pack today but then I slept all afternoon and had some "we'll-be-apart-for-a-long-time' quality time with my guitar in the evening and now I'm stuck here procrastinating.

Went out in the morning for that paintball session Faiz was organising. Fun, but painful. Have a bruise on my knee, and a cut on my arm, but I saw the welt on Wan Shen's arm and the bruise behind Kevin's ear and I know I got off lucky.

And I'm quite familiar with the whole "bruising" process so that's all good as well.

Interesting experience, really. Emerged all hot and sweaty and tired, but like we accomplished something. Also realised we'd probably all die off first if we were in a real war.

Okay, going off now. School tomorrow.

Adieu.

P.S. Whoa, results.

Deeparaya 2011.

Was going to post yesterday, but then was at an unreasonably high stress level, so didn't.

Went on a field trip to the city area for our post exam activities, and messed around in public places because we're retarded that way. Our facilitator was a really nice person; she was all patient with us and let the guys stop to buy ice cream. And then apparently I tried to set her up with Mr Yeo because she told me she thought he was funny and now rumours are spreading about him trying to pick her up and Mr Yeo thinks it's my fault.

But hey, I didn't spread those rumours. People talk about it because they saw it with their own eyes. Ah, such fun.

Then had rehearsals in the afternoon. Almost died but then survived.

Finally had the event today, so now it's over and I'm glad and free of the stress and work-rushing.

People always think these "cultural awareness" events are pointless and hardly any of the students (or teachers) pay attention to all the hard work and time we've put into rehearsals and choreographing and setting up logistics (and making slides and editing videos late, late into the night). It's quite sad. I think until they've really tried it out for themselves and put that much effort into something just to have people dismiss you nonchalantly they wouldn't value it.

So much work goes into making something happen and into making sure things run smoothly for the benefit of the people, but yet "the people" are general ignorant asses who take things for granted.

Either way, I think I learnt quite a few things over the course of the preparation for this event. Found out what "dikir barat" is (and I'm so proud of us for pulling it off with only four practice sessions), and learnt about Hari Raya Haji in Singapore, and met new people, made new friends, gained editing experience.

I have a feeling nothing's truly pointless. Everything has a reason.

Hung around to help out for the post-exam House Games tomorrow and then had dinner at Medzs for our last cluster outing of the year.

No wonder I'm tired.

Okay, good night.

P.S. I'm so tired, I can't even haul my ass to bed.

P.P.S. Feeling quite good because I managed to organise an old Disney movie marathon for our CCA tomorrow. We need bonding.

Yas Marina 2011.

Whoa, the day's passed by and I've still got a bunch of stuff to do.

Before the week has ended, I need to submit a bunch of forms so I can go back home, then finish editing a video for Deeparaya, and finish up powerpoint slides for Deeparaya, and pack, and be at school, and rehearse, and oh my goodness Year 4 is going to end on a very busy note.

Made so many plans for the week because we want to cram in as much fun before going home for the holidays and simply rotting away in a stream of idleness and gluttony (which is pretty luxurious if not really dull). Speaking of going home, we'll probably have to fit in some driving license-getting in there, too. Hope I don't like, destroy anything.

Spent my morning sleeping, then my afternoon cutting up sound clips and watching X-Men: Evolution (I'm nearing the end now, and Gambit is still as sexy as I remember).

Missed the race because I was with a bunch of Bruneians (Fatinn, Emily, Syaf, Feyra, Kevin, Faiz, Hafiy and Nick Kong) at Scape K-Boxing. I like karaoke. Screaming your heart out to songs with friends is such a great way to build rapport. Had tonnes of fun, what with singing and rapping and great music.

And it's the first time I've made it through a K-Box session without needing Strepsils. Whoa that was a total achievement.

Then had to wait almost an hour for a taxi back. Thankfully the duty officer (my BC) was nice enough to let it go even though we missed roll call by like half an hour. It's good to call back in advance.

So race. Vettel's first retirement of the season. He shouldn't be pissed at having his tyre punctured because his car has been ridiculously reliable all season and that's partly why his title has been all so secure and brilliant. Hamilton won the race, much to my chagrin, but then Alonso's in second place so that's a bit of good fortune since he started in fifth.

Okay, going off now. School tomorrow and things to edit.

Night.

P.S. Why is it that Indonesian singers have such sexy accents? Heck.

Multi-purpose barbecue.

Was supposed to post last night, but then hung around in Emily's cluster with her and Fatinn preparing stuff for today's barbecue.

Busy busy day yesterday. Had script-checking for like, five hours straight, and got back papers, then had rehearsals and meeting-ups with teachers for our Deeparaya celebration.

Was pretty disappointed with my results, actually, apart from English, which totally blew me away. Oh well, I guess you win some you lose some.

The thing is that this semester, the papers I wanted to do well in I didn't really score, and the papers I was prepared to do badly in I did quite all right. I guess I'm pretty average then.

Going to focus entirely on next year now, and not look at what's happened in Year 4. Found out today that yes they didn't reject me for Bio and Chem honours, so now I feel super relieved and it's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Hooray. Also not dropping Physics majors anymore.

It's ironic that I feel accomplished over achieving more work to do.

The barbecue at our High Comm today was quite like many other barbecues, where a few people do all the barbecuing and the rest just sit around and talk. But this barbecue was particularly dull because we didn't really have anything to do. Slept a bit, too.

Multi-purpose barbecue was for Feyra's farewell (things won't be the same without her) 'cause she's graduating this year and to celebrate people's birthdays (including Fatin's, which was yesterday).

Despite how many times everyone dozed off internally, I love how Bruneians have like, increased spirit nowadays. We really do hang around with each other more, and take pride in our nationality.

I like being Bruneian, yes I do.

Hung out in the Games room afterwards after we got back. I think I've become rather addicted to pool.

All right, going off now. Have plenty of work pending.

Adieu.

P.S. Finally have some vlog footage. Whoa that took me a forever.

Daily need.

Stole this from Pin's blog because I really want to up my post count (and that I'm avoiding work).

Are you wearing a hat?
No.

Bottled water: yes or no?
When you buy water in bottles, somehow it always tastes funny. But when you buy your own bottle and then fill it with water, yes.

Do you have a crush on someone right now?
Yes, myself. I am that awesome.

What kind of laptop do you have?
It's pro.

Do you prefer writing with pen or pencil?
Oh dear Lord, pencils.

Who was the last text message in your phone?
Adithya.

Whats your favorite season?
Autumn/Winter.

Does your best friend have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Well.

Do you like them?
Well.

Favorite radio station?
Don't listen to the radio. Whoa.

Type your name into Google, whats the first thing that comes up?
Some hi5 page of someone with the same name. How sad. This blog comes up fifth though, which is awesome.

Whats your favorite song at the moment?
Well you caught me at this moment where I don't have a favourite song. But I last downloaded some Take That, 'You've Got The Love' by Florence and the Machine, and Coldplay's Paradise is still quite divine.

Coke or Pepsi?
Pepsi.

Favorite subject in school?
Bio. What else?

Last concert?
Muse.

Next concert?
Hopefully something kickass.

Last magazine you bought?

Some ancient issue of Nat Geog.

Last book you read?
Last proper book? Man that was all the way back in September. How sad. If I'm not wrong, it was 'Little Vampire Women'.

Do you prefer cats or dogs?
I like cats, but I'd keep a dog.

Is there someone you want to punch right now?
I want to punch many people because I have violent tendencies.

Favorite sports team?
Ferrari, doubtless.

State you most want to visit?
Liquid.

Run.

Whoa, I really need to get back into the habit of posting. But it's like nothing much really happens these days, and nobody wants to hear about me spending most of my time watching X-Men: Evolution online.

So like, yeah, first day of script-checking today. Oh, and also had Malay O's, which I'm very afraid of failing. At this point, I'm totally okay with a D7/C6. I just don't want to have to take Malay until Year 6. My atrocious Malay grammar shames us all.

Oh so ashamed.

So yeah, script-checking. I feel quite appalled at myself because I find myself using the excuse 'I was sick' to explain terrible performances. That's awful of me and I feel even more sick of myself because I can't just admit that sometimes I'm not good enough.

I'm not great.

In fact, everything that's been my life so far is all down to luck. I'm a very lucky person. All my results happen because I lucked out. I'm not smart, and neither do I work hard enough. I'm just very lucky.

And when you count on luck that much and that often, you're doomed when your luck runs out. And that's what happened to me. My luck ran out.

I mean, I did better than expected considering I slept most of the time and didn't study as much as I wanted to, but I shouldn't be thinking I could've done better. Because I couldn't have. It's really no excuse. Ultimately these results are going to stay with me forever, and I can't go back in time to change everything because I was unlucky once.

Oh man.

At least we have Evo Bio back already, so tomorrow can only get better.

Okay, adieu.

P.S. So many things, so little time.

Eid al-Adha.

Hello there.

I was going to post on Friday about how exams were over and about how terribly it went down, but then the Internet connection sort of went down on me and now I've decided to simply put those things in the past. After all, who wants to remember terrible experiences?

Experienced Hari Raya Aidiladha for the first time ever, 'cause we had to go all the way to Sultan Mosque to film some things for our school Deeparaya celebration.

I feel quite bad for thinking it'd be tedious 'cause the weather wasn't very good, 'cause it turned out to be quite fruitful. It's good to learn things.

So like, yeah. I've always sort of been able to appreciate Aidilfitri more because people observe Ramadhan and then invite you over to their houses to celebrate once the fasting month is over, 'cause it's a tangible thing in a sense that it affects me and I see it happening.

But then I've always thought of Aidiladha as 'the other Raya' because it's just not really "put out there", if you know what I mean. I know I shouldn't, but if things don't apply to you you really don't hold it in that high a regard.

But today we saw people giving out free lunches and cooking from gigantic pots and handing out meat to the needy and I thought it was really sweet. I totally did not know any of this happened. Especially 'cause I don't see Singapore as that religious of a place.

I learnt that (oh my goodness I sound like I'm writing a reflection for some school project) sacrifice isn't just about killing some goats or sheep, but it's about sacrifice of things we enjoy for the better of humankind. Like giving to the needy (like paying zakat), donating to charity, going out of our way to be nice, keeping up a smile even though the day's been terrible, little things like that. They don't have to be physical objects or a quantifiable amount, but there are these little gestures that could make someone's day and it's cool to highlight these things.

It is believed that we must give up our earthly desires in order to achieve a higher spiritual level, but hardly anyone is willing to go that far.

Interesting.

All right, I'm going off now.

Night.

P.S. It's funny how Muslims know I'm not a Muslim, and a lot of non-Muslims here think I'm Muslim just because I'm Bruneian. My friends, being Bruneian is a nationality, not a religion.

P.P.S. Bought three books today and I feel quite bad 'cause I had hardly any self-restraint in Kinokuniya earlier today. Just kept grabbing and having to put books back on shelves. Sigh, limitations. (Whoa material greed.)