Told ya I'd be back this morning.
It's drizzling right now, and it's all cool and breezy. Love it.
Anyway, here's a letter I wrote for this scenario we were given during the writing workshop.
Scenario: Someone has left you a teddy bear and you may or may not know who it is. If you could write one letter to the person who left you the bear, what would you say?
The letter:
Kind sir/madam,
I am sorry to inform you that your measly attempt to assassinate me has failed terribly. Upon noticing the bear perched innocently on my doorstep, I recalled my previous training and disposed of it immediately with a pair of tongs, leather gloves and an incinerator.
I am pretty sure any regular person would have reached for the bear instantly and died of the fatal poison soaked into its fur and filling. But you must keep in mind I am no regular person. So next time, I advice you to send a worthier adversary.
Yours,
someone-who-is-still-alive
P.S. I am moving. Have fun looking for my new address.
...Yeah, I am that much of an idiot.
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